Don't Be Intimidated by Past You
Do you ever get intimidated by yourself? Have you ever looked at something you’ve created, something you and others built together, designed, constructed, wrote and said to yourself, “Damn. I was good.” And then, suddenly it feels impossible to ever do that amazing thing again or anything even remotely like it.
I have. Can’t help it. I sailed across the Pacific Ocean in a tiny boat with three children, an unstoppable husband and a cat. I suspect any sailor who crosses a major ocean, lives on a boat for years, raises kids on the hook, looks at her past and muses, “Yeah, never going to be that awesome again. Who were those people? What a bunch of amazing nutters.” Fair enough. The DrC and Toast of a decade ago were truly something special; It is completely reasonable for me to feel deeply intimidated by the crew of Don Quixote.
On the other hand, sometimes I get scared by something as minor as an old Voice Over entry. Something will happen at work and I’ll want to send a link to an old post about “just say no” or “organisational culture.” So I’ll spend a half hour browsing the back catalogue. A particularly clever turn of phrase or interesting insight can send me down that unhelpful, imposter syndrome, negative spiral. “How can I write something today? What will I say? How can I ever possibly be as interesting again?”
I witness this self-doubt and inner panic in people all the time. Leaders, specialists, journalists, it must be a true of virtually anyone. At some point, you find yourself looking at the past you and wondering if you can execute as well again. I see it particularly in people who have been with one organisation for a very long period of time who then shift to another. When you’ve done good work at Big Company, you have credibility. People trust you. You’re known for that Fantastic Project or the Great Presentation You Gave or the Incredible Team Effort. You have a reputation. And while sometimes it can be challenging to live up to a good reputation, it’s even more challenging to build a new one. I sometimes think this loss of baked-in credibility is one of the greatest barriers to people seeking out new roles.
However.
Calm down. Breathe people. BREATHE. It is true. You will never produce precisely the same work again. It’s a fact. Let that go. It doesn’t need more time or energy, fear or angst.
We aren’t athletes, we keyboard warriors. We don’t lose fitness and age out of our sport. As we mature, learn, grow, experience new situations, our work changes. It grows richer and more nuanced… and I sincerely hope more useful. When I dust off an old blog post or a training session I built 10 years ago, it’s true there are flashes of light and energy and ideas. It’s also true that these 10 years have been enormously impactful. I know more about myself, more about how people and organisations behave. I’ve been working hard on improving myself; I’d like to think my new writing reflects those changes. Maybe I’m not as witty, but it’s also potentially true that my writing is a bit wiser, a lot more reflective, less frequent but a bit more authentic.
This is a form of change. Accepting that on life’s long change curve, we must continually let go of past triumphs in a way that gives us permission to be a different kind of successful. Resting on our laurels or past successes is comforting but can also paralyse us in ways that prevent exploring our new vision, purpose and experience.
Your past accomplishments are not the standard we’re measuring you by today. What we really want to see is what you’re going to do with the problem right here in front you. Solve it, write it, build it, present it, absolutely smash it. No need whatsoever to nail this landing precisely how you did in the past. I’m betting, honestly, you’ll show us better than you ever have. Why? You’re older, wiser, you can’t fit in the same pants, and you’re sexier because of it. Breathe.
“Improving usually means doing something that we have never done before.” ~Shigeo Shingo
