Just Because

In change resiliency courses, we talk about the really big intractable problems that are outside our circle of control. We can’t do anything about the climate, geopolitics, or the weather. We can’t fix enoromous computer systems overnight, make Australians and Kiwis understand one another, or get the board of directors to stop ordering us to do stupid shit. What we can and should do, however, is control how we feel about those things. We can make choices about how to react, how much energy to put into the system. Don’t ignore poverty, but decide for yourself how much you can and will try to do something about it. My daughter can’t fix the climate crisis, but she has elected to study environmental sustainability. You can’t make it stop raining, but you can take an umbrella.

It turns out there is a really big difference between being unable to do anything about something, and choosing not to do anything at all. I believe it’s okay to do nothing. There are times and places where doing nothing is the best option for you, for your family, for your community. When Trump was running, my husband and I were struggling with cancer, laboring under the distinct belief that he was going to die soon...because that’s what everyone else with that cancer does and he wasn’t doing well, so of course you go along with that assumption. You prioritise the thing in your life that requires the most attention, and you ignore the fact that American democracy was sliding rapidly out of control.

But he’s not dead yet. In fact, DrC is thriving. In a lovely twist of karmic irony, we found out recently that his early poor response to the drugs they gave him is actually a sign that the cancer is going to take longer to roar back. This means that we now have the time, the bandwidth, the emotional wherewithal to look outside our little pocket universe of self-indulgent, bucket list ticking happiness, and see the world. 

In case you haven’t noticed, things have gone to shit since 2016. The country we were born and raised in is a hot mess. Worse, the power of the United States to influence the global economy, climate, and security from encroachment by bad actors is tremendous. It is less clear every day, however, that our adoptive little island nation can withstand a Pacific with an authoritarian, insular and isolationist America. China’s in a mood, people. 

What to do? What to do? The line we crossed is between doing nothing because nothing you do will make a difference and doing something because doing nothing is unacceptable. Even knowing the futility of one person’s contribution to change, sometimes you have to put yourself forward anyway. 

So I flew to the United States two weeks ago. I’m looking for volunteer work with Democratic presidential campaigns first, then hopefully work for a House or Senate candidate in a battleground state. While I was the one who had the idea originally, it’s DrC that sent me and is bankrolling the operation. We can’t save democracy, but we also can’t just sit on our hands vainly hoping someone else will fix it. I’ll speak later about how much I’m struggling with this, but for now just know that we both feel I’m in the right place. If we accomplish nothing else, we have taken back control of our emotional health. It may be the last thing I do in and for the country of our birth, but at least I’ll know that he and I have done everything we can.

—-

Location Update
Currently: Sacramento, CA, USA
Planned: Tomorrow I pick up my new old car (Honday Civic 2001) and drive to Reno. The plan is to volunteer with the Reno Yang 2020 campaign through the Nevada caucus on 22 Feb.